Monday, January 14, 2008

Salt City Ink.

How about a reality show about a Salt Lake City tattoo parlor that only does temporary tattoos. Sure it's not a great idea, but c'mon, there are already FOUR shows about tattoo parlors.

Anyway, I have a few opinions about tattoos, but mostly I don't care. Mostly because getting a tattoo is like having someone write down the date you wanted to get a tattoo on your body. Also, it is mostly because it is like choosing a t-shirt that you really like, and deciding to wear it for the rest of forever.

But on the other hand, they can be really cool. So what's a fella to do?

Well if I DID get a tattoo it would probably be one of the following (feel free to take any of these ideas and let me know how they turn out).


  • Calvin urinating on gothic letters that say: "TATTOO"
  • Herve Villachez ("Hey want to see my tattoo?").
  • A picture of my face, on my face, about 3/4 size (Sure it's vain, but people will always be under the illusion that I am backing away from them).
  • The words "Bad Idea" on my cheek, right below my eye.
  • Robot hand (on hand).
  • A tattoo right under my nostril, you think it is a booger but when you look close, nope, it's a beautiful butterfly (with skulls on it's wings).
  • A tattoo of big muscles all over my body (<---GREAT IDEA).
  • a tribal.
  • A tattoo of lots of money, but make it look like it's coming out of my pockets (they are a-million-dollar-bills)
  • A Bear Murdering a Puma (with some malice of forethought).
  • A tattoo of a box of TNT right where my appendix should be (gotta please my readership)
  • A tattoo of a good haircut on (and around) my head.
  • A tattoo that says "VOTE FOR MITCH ROMNEY!!!
If you have any more ideas, go ahead and give them to me. Especially if they are related to your FREE APPENDIX SURGERY JOKES!!!


Sarita said...

I have a co-worker who has the armor of God on her forearm. Only the breastplate of righteousness looks like a corset.

And then once I met a guy who knew a guy that had fingers coming out of his belly button. Yes, as if someone was trying to get out.....that would be pretty sweet.

Cindy said...

I vote Bear Murdering A Puma!

I have a tattoo of a moon and a star on my lower left back, only seen in private. Cynthia means goddess of the moon and Estelle means star. I will never forget myself.

wild murdocks said...

I have one too. (I bet you didn't think this would become a tattoo confessional). a leaf. should feel guilty...but don't

At the tattoo parlor, I saw an elaborate back tattoo of a hunting scene--men on horses racing down the person's back, with a foxtail,
poking out "the crack". classy

thanks for the sitemeter info.

Grant said...

Speechless. I think most of your ideas far outdo my dream tattoo, which would be Taz ripping through my torso, on my torso.

Damian said...

I wise man once said:

"You'll never regret a tattoo of the Tazmanian devil"

Which is kind of true, except this guy in my Jr. year art class who got a Tazmanian devil tattoo and didn't like it, so he went back and had them put a sombrero on Taz's head.

You can imagine his relief. Which reminds me of another bit of wisdom"

"All's well that ends in Sombrero"

Cameron said...

What about a tattoo of a noble antelope eating a corndog?

rachelle said...

i'm gonna go with your face on your face. then when you get old, people will still know what you looked like in your prime. it's perfect.

SummerChild said...

I worked with a guy once with a Tasmanian devil in a hockey jersey on his left thigh. It was kind of awkward when he showed it to us at work. He got in college and talked like it was the awesomest thing ever, but I could tell in his eyes that his heart wasn't into it anymore and it maybe underaged drinking with the hockey team and getting tattoos together maybe wasn't the greatest idea in the world. Maybe hios taz needs a sombrero.

I vote for the robot hand. You really, really should do that. Or a giant eagle with an American flag on it's mouth with a snake in one claw and a rifle in the other and the words "I will not rest until all terrorists have been killed like this snake is being killed by this noble eagle" on your chest, stretching to the back (you'd want the full eagle wingspan).

Rich said...

I like the idea of tattooing just the current date on your body. It would be especially cool if you did it in Gaelic.