Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I am not a graphic designer, but I like to draw pictures. I like them on paper though and don't do so well when I have to use a computator. Back when I was talking about branding myself an old mission buddy* made me this:If you can top his design for gladhanded I will give you a **SUBSTANTIAL REWARD. Also I will post the pictures of entrants.

*(we both went to Spain and taught people how to be Mormons, also we sweated)
**I will draw your name in cool letters, like it is some sort of graffiti or something, you'll have to wait because I will probably do it in church and it might be on the back of a church program. I have been told that I am pretty good at this. Or I will draw on your shoes for you.

Friday, July 11, 2008


My coming "Mormon" themed restaurant will have a children's menu, so far we only have one item on it:

Chicken Tender Mercies.


Sometimes I think that the hardest part about preparing for the zombie invasion is knowing which scientists to trust. I mean will they be normal people infected with "rage" that move with blinding fury? or re-animated necrotic flesh spurred on by an insatiable hunger for human flesh (including the appendix)? Who knows? You would think it doesn't matter that much, but it will TOTALLY change my defensive strategy. Either way, is should keep a couple of weapons just to be safe. Does anyone know one can get one's shotgun "sawed off".* Anywho, I am not trying to be alarmist or anything, but I think it is about time we began a rational discussion about what to do when the dead begin to walk (I am not talking about the Rapture, 'cause I will be like, "Yo, peace out!!" twinkle). Also because I think a lot of politicians are ignoring this issue (How does Obama expect to have hope when his loved ones will be moaning his name in tattered clothes, hungering for his delicious and articulate brain). Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

P.S. If you are a sniper, I am looking for friends!!!

EDIT: I borrowed this book from Lee. It's kind of the authority on this subject.

*IDEA: During the zombie invasion, start a "Saw Off" business. Do not accept cash (axes will be more valuable). Also, make friends with that guy who keeps an old bus in his front yard, it would make a pretty good escape/assault vehicle.