Friday, June 30, 2006

A new show.

It's called "Found" and it is about this plane that arrives on time to this mythical island. It is kind of like "Lost" and has beautiful people in it and interesting back stories, but at the end of the season, it makes sense.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

making the most of your summer

So every summer has a theme, whether you know it or not. We discovered this many a year ago at the end of a summer full of frosty mugs that is heretofor known as "the rootbeer summer". Since that time there has been many a fine summer:

Rootbeer Summer
Summer of Fun
Summer of Play
Summer of Love (most disappointing summer EVER)
Summer of Awesome
Winter of Vengence

This summer there were many fine competitors: Summer of Bacon (think Kevin), The Summer of ROCK ('cept there weren't that many concerts coming), The Teenage Summer (which I know many have adopted, but I am 30 so coming from me it just sounds pervy). But instead we decided to go Multi-Level with this muther:

The Highly Effective Summer (set your 7 habits NOW!)

we have a website and everything. I am not going to give you a link, that would be easy. Just google it, I am sure you will find it.

The idea is that if you really want to have fun, you need some focus, some goals and whatnot.

There is even a powerpoint presentation, and there will soon be a T-shirt.

In retrospect though, it sounds like a kind of bland summer, but I guess that is the attitude of a whiner and a giver-upper (which I am not). Sure there are more epic summers to come, but I ain't even giving up on this one.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Jokes, an appendix

So I have the sense of humor of your grandpa. Not everyone's grandpa, just yours. I have some decent jokes that get a lot of traction, and I find that once I get an acceptable reaction that I use it again and again and again.

So, anywhoo, I thought if you wanted to know what it is like to interact with me on a regular basis, You can justs read here. I will use this blog to publish my time worn jokes that are so old I doubt Grandma Moses remembers them. Keep in mind, these jokes are NOT funny, but they help out in social situations with the aged or those whom you hometeach.



Q: So what are you up to?
A: About 180 pounds.

Q:How are you?
A: I can't complain...
...because of throat cancer.

(because I am a single mormon, all adult mormons want to talk to me about this)

Q:So how are the ladies treating you?
A: like a baby treats a diaper.
(this joke I stole from Norm on Cheers, there the secret is out).

Q:So when are you getting married? (ha HA!)
A: July 1st, could you recomend a girl because I have reserved the reception hall and everything, preferably one that is okay with "eclairs" as our refreshment.

Q:So why aren't you married yet?
A: I am just waiting for the right girl to find me, and I wish she'd start looking a little harder.

(my skin is so sensitive that I get burnt if I even have a bright idea).

Q: Ouch, you look sunburned.
A: I'm not sunburned, I'm just REALLY embarassed.

Q:Ouch, does that hurt
A: Not as much as the kidney stone I am passing right now.
(Author's note: I did pass a kidney stone once, "Congratulations, you have just given birth to a grape-nut.")

Saturday, June 24, 2006

blog guilt

so I started this, and it was free and everything, but now I have a new guilt, like I should really put something here. I have negleted ye bloggy. Even if no one reads a thing, it scratches at the back of my head.

Maybe I should put some racist jokes up here. That will get them talking!

how about them blacks?

Thursday, June 15, 2006

a thing which could be used

A thing which could be used is a nap, by me.
It will last 15 to 20 minutes and give me the strength of 12 well-rested stallions.

If anyone would like to get "in" on this, I am not opposed to the gentle spoon.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

a solemn oath

I hereby oath that I will not post fashionable pictures of my friends visiting.

this is not an ideological oath, it is merely an oath that reveals that

I have no fashion
I have no friends
no one wants to visit Murray (unless we are talking about the person, he is a very nice man)

also, I don't own a camera.

I will solemnly keep this oath forever, or until I get a camera, or maybe next week.