Friday, August 11, 2006

Hello, a lot of you don't know me, my name is Damian, and I am new in this ward.

When the bishop called and asked me to give a talk this week on the 12 article of faith, my first thought was "good, he doesn't want me to do the long article of faith." but then I read it, and my second through seventh thoughts were a bunch of swears. So today, I am going to talk about swears.

"We believe in not saying swears or bad swears."

Websters dictionary defines swears as "Bad swears that you swear at people." President Kimbal once said, "Swears are the evidence of a weak mind trying to express itself swearfully."

I think we shouldn't say bad swears. Some swears aren't bad swears and we probably shouldn't say those swears either, like bastardize, bitchin' and masturbatory. Once a mission companion of mine said that you know you shouldn't say a word if you can't imagine a apostle saying that word. But then I said to him what about the word "Boi oi oi oing". I can't imagine Elder Packard saying that word, but I don't think it is a swear, not even a week swear.

Some times when you read the scriptures you will see swears. These are called Bible swears. It is okay when you read them, but if you read them outloud you will be forgiven only if you get uncomfortable that everyone else in the sunday school class thinks that you are "used to that sort of thing."

Even when you don't say bad swears you should not hear or listen to bad swears in rock and roll or rap. When people say a swear, you shouldn't say anything to them (unless you are there mother). A good way to let people know that they are saying swears is to look at them like they just put a little poop in your brownie. Being dissapointed in people is also a good way to not let swears into your life.

Swears are a bad thing. Sometimes when we say a swear it feels good in our mouth, but that is not Happiness, it is only pleasure. Some people think it is okay to say a swear if you mix it with other words. If you need to say mean things to people you don't need to use swears to say it. You can call them names (like what animals that they look like), point out how unattractive they are, or tell them that you will prolly be a general authority some day. also, if you use a swear in your blog your father or father in law will prolly be disappointed in you. So don't.

Remember that swears don't make you tough, they just make you sweary.
I know that if we learn to not say swears or bad swears and only use bible swears in class and not when people cut us off we will be better people.


Amen.

P.S. Dad, I never really say swears.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think that if you said a real swear (even if it were a scripture swear)(which i think is OK) every once in a while it would be REAL funny, and maybe good for you. because, shock value.