Sunday, June 25, 2006

Jokes, an appendix

So I have the sense of humor of your grandpa. Not everyone's grandpa, just yours. I have some decent jokes that get a lot of traction, and I find that once I get an acceptable reaction that I use it again and again and again.

So, anywhoo, I thought if you wanted to know what it is like to interact with me on a regular basis, You can justs read here. I will use this blog to publish my time worn jokes that are so old I doubt Grandma Moses remembers them. Keep in mind, these jokes are NOT funny, but they help out in social situations with the aged or those whom you hometeach.



Q: So what are you up to?
A: About 180 pounds.

Q:How are you?
A: I can't complain...
...because of throat cancer.

(because I am a single mormon, all adult mormons want to talk to me about this)

Q:So how are the ladies treating you?
A: like a baby treats a diaper.
(this joke I stole from Norm on Cheers, there the secret is out).

Q:So when are you getting married? (ha HA!)
A: July 1st, could you recomend a girl because I have reserved the reception hall and everything, preferably one that is okay with "eclairs" as our refreshment.

Q:So why aren't you married yet?
A: I am just waiting for the right girl to find me, and I wish she'd start looking a little harder.

(my skin is so sensitive that I get burnt if I even have a bright idea).

Q: Ouch, you look sunburned.
A: I'm not sunburned, I'm just REALLY embarassed.

Q:Ouch, does that hurt
A: Not as much as the kidney stone I am passing right now.
(Author's note: I did pass a kidney stone once, "Congratulations, you have just given birth to a grape-nut.")


Cindy said...

My grandpas were never this funny. Actually, there's still some debate as to who my American grandpa really was. My other grandpa was a German soldier in WWII. Not that funny.

That little people joke, still funny.

Dainon said...

"Midget what?!"

Someone needs to put that on a shirt. Pronto.

Manfoom said...

there will be a t-shirt sooncoming, but not of midgets and little people (I don't wear swears on shirts)

Bryant said...

You're my new favorite blogger. Can I add you to my blog club? I'm even ok with it if you just keep posting this post over and over (very grandpa-esque).

gretel said...

manfoom! thanks for the laugh :)

adri said...


Damian said...

I seem to be dropping in the ranks. My appendix of jokes isn't what people are looking for perhaps.