Sweaters
shirts
no hats
ties, skinny ties or regular ties
a new suit
a new blazer or two (40R)
I'd like to lose 15 pounds
a pound of chocolate
an ounce of good sense
Antique stuff
an Eames chair
Anything Atomic age
except a nuclear warhead
vintage film cameras (super 8 is the best)
the new iphone earbuds
"to Live" the movie by Zhang Yimou (I have now lost/given away 3 copies of this)
"man on wire" the movie
Minerva Teichert's Christ in the Red Robes
some cool throw pillows for my couch downstairs, something modern
blank vans
sketch books
food
Joy of cooking (my old copy is getting worn out)
"A storyteller in ZIon" I lost my older copy
The new Ender's Game book (it's on the best seller list)
Extras: the complete series
the Sanjuro/Yojimbo criterion collection boxed set (I already own the movies but the set is SO gorgeous)
a punch in the face
a real live muppet
the gift of not-vomitting in the morning (the gift that keeps on giving)
a roll of quarters (for punching, then for video games)
6 piece chicken McNuggets
throwing star magnets
I want Cameron to know that Krull is NOT a good movie anymore
pretty much anything from the criterion collection
a new heart (similar to the old one, but less breaky)
a hot tub
a warm tub
ambition
pie (the treat, not the never-ending number)
a dolphin
a cyborg
a cyborg dolphin
a submarine that looks like a dolphin (so we can be friends)
a boat car
a car boat
a concept I can use to finish my story
pie cake
a reprieve from angst
a hover car
a bucket of gold
something mid-century modern
more Kung Fu pajamas
a gorilla suit (to go with the chicken suit)
a new digital camera (mine got stoled- again)
an octagon (for ultimate fighting)
Zombie Movies
Zombie Moves
"Zombie" by the Cranberries
some time to think
a clown cart
a calculator watch
the GI Joe aircraft carrier
The movie "Blood Simple" I haven't seen it. by the Coen Brothers
a chocolate orange ('cause I am getting one anyway)
a clockwork orange
some "Aspen" cologne (see above)
Music by any of the following bands: "Tunng" "Thao and the get down and stay downs" "the Books" "Feist""the Bird and the Bee", but who buys CD's anymore?
the Seagate portable pocket drive 250 gigabyte with firewire 800.
a massage
Atlantic Monthly magazine subscription
a headband
time alone
"Home Alone"
something the relieve the boredom
I think that about covers it, but maybe I am just setting myself up for disappointment.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Disappointing Christmas
I apologize for what I am about to write.
Christmas is
disappointing
Or at least it can be. I remember one of my good friends (Nate) asking for rollerblades for Christmas. He was 14 and his parents certainly had the means. As he rushed downstairs to see what was waiting beneath the glowing Christmas Tree he found...
a filing cabinet.
I don't think there is a man nor woman alive, who at one point didn't look up to a loving mother and say, "Oh ...socks. Thanks mom, yeah I really needed ...socks. yeah, I see there are different colors" And I have to wonder if that first Christmas was a little disappointing to Joseph. He was marrying a woman who was giving birth to a child that was not his. He couldn't even arrange for a clean room to spend the night and had to settle for a barn. On top of all that he had to deal with strange sheep hearders and foreigners visiting through the night. I have to wonder if he looked up and said "Oh...myrrh. Thanks, yeah I really needed ...mrryh. yeah, I see it comes with frankinsense too."
But somehow I don't think he was disappointed. He saw the birth of Christ, the foretold Messiah. His wife and child, the child that he would get to raise, were healthy. Angels rejoiced and people gathered from every economic strata to honor him. I think Joseph was open to play it by ear and take what came. He didn't know what Christmas would be and he took it as it came and was open to the new experience.
For me Christmas is a great time, but it is often disappointing. I don't think it was by accident that the glorious nativity is often surrounded by tales of disappointment. One of my favorite lyrics is this, "If it wasn't for disappointment, I wouldn't have any appointments." Thus is life.
I'll be honest, life has had it's share of disappointments lately (many of which are of my own making). I think of a lot of people who aren't where they thought they would be are looking forward to a disappointing Christmas. I think that can be temperred by being open, like Joseph must have been, to whatever Christmas we will be given.
But I think of Simeon and Anna in the Old Testament, who each waited faithfully year after disappointing year, visiting the temple regularly until they got a chance to see the child Messiah. They are not surrounded by fellow faithful or even family in their tales. Just lone people that had some hope.
As I go into this winter solstice, this time of year with the worlds longest night, I know that the sun will come again, as will the Son of God. And disappointments are for the moment, and fleeting. My friend Nate still uses his filing cabinet, and probably chuckles and thinks of his Dad. I have probably worn through the socks but I know that my Mom cares about how warm my feet are.
As I go into this Christmas, I am deciding not to be disappointed. I am not going to be attatched to what Christmas has been and look forward to what it will be, and to enjoy every minute.
Christmas is
disappointing
Or at least it can be. I remember one of my good friends (Nate) asking for rollerblades for Christmas. He was 14 and his parents certainly had the means. As he rushed downstairs to see what was waiting beneath the glowing Christmas Tree he found...
a filing cabinet.
I don't think there is a man nor woman alive, who at one point didn't look up to a loving mother and say, "Oh ...socks. Thanks mom, yeah I really needed ...socks. yeah, I see there are different colors" And I have to wonder if that first Christmas was a little disappointing to Joseph. He was marrying a woman who was giving birth to a child that was not his. He couldn't even arrange for a clean room to spend the night and had to settle for a barn. On top of all that he had to deal with strange sheep hearders and foreigners visiting through the night. I have to wonder if he looked up and said "Oh...myrrh. Thanks, yeah I really needed ...mrryh. yeah, I see it comes with frankinsense too."
But somehow I don't think he was disappointed. He saw the birth of Christ, the foretold Messiah. His wife and child, the child that he would get to raise, were healthy. Angels rejoiced and people gathered from every economic strata to honor him. I think Joseph was open to play it by ear and take what came. He didn't know what Christmas would be and he took it as it came and was open to the new experience.
For me Christmas is a great time, but it is often disappointing. I don't think it was by accident that the glorious nativity is often surrounded by tales of disappointment. One of my favorite lyrics is this, "If it wasn't for disappointment, I wouldn't have any appointments." Thus is life.
I'll be honest, life has had it's share of disappointments lately (many of which are of my own making). I think of a lot of people who aren't where they thought they would be are looking forward to a disappointing Christmas. I think that can be temperred by being open, like Joseph must have been, to whatever Christmas we will be given.
But I think of Simeon and Anna in the Old Testament, who each waited faithfully year after disappointing year, visiting the temple regularly until they got a chance to see the child Messiah. They are not surrounded by fellow faithful or even family in their tales. Just lone people that had some hope.
As I go into this winter solstice, this time of year with the worlds longest night, I know that the sun will come again, as will the Son of God. And disappointments are for the moment, and fleeting. My friend Nate still uses his filing cabinet, and probably chuckles and thinks of his Dad. I have probably worn through the socks but I know that my Mom cares about how warm my feet are.
As I go into this Christmas, I am deciding not to be disappointed. I am not going to be attatched to what Christmas has been and look forward to what it will be, and to enjoy every minute.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Selling your soul
The best advertising is a good product. But not really, not if no one knows about it. I think the best brands are ones that speak to me in a way that doesn't yell "Our widgets are the BEST!" but put forth a positive ideal. I don't currently own a pair of Nike shoes but their "Just Do It" campaign is durable and great. Check out this ad out. (so much great stuff in there, from Derek Redmond, the cheetahs and runners to the Winged Victory of Samothrace[also known as "the nike"])
Now the cynical part of me wants to reject inspiring ads and thinks, "they just want me to feel better and associate that with there brand." but once in a while I am willing to suspend my cynicism, if for a few moments.
I love this dream of an ad . But I like it even more now that I have read this purported letter from an engineer at Honda.(For double your fun read the letter while listening to the ad.)
I don't believe in the super-consumer, especially since corporations can change from an idyllic brand that thinks big and has their arms wide open to a money hungry machine with a scarcity mentality. But I think some companies get it, at least for a while and I am willing to march a few of my dollars their way.
Now the cynical part of me wants to reject inspiring ads and thinks, "they just want me to feel better and associate that with there brand." but once in a while I am willing to suspend my cynicism, if for a few moments.
I love this dream of an ad . But I like it even more now that I have read this purported letter from an engineer at Honda.(For double your fun read the letter while listening to the ad.)
I don't believe in the super-consumer, especially since corporations can change from an idyllic brand that thinks big and has their arms wide open to a money hungry machine with a scarcity mentality. But I think some companies get it, at least for a while and I am willing to march a few of my dollars their way.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Smells like a Good Idea
So I went to a great and bizarre show last night. Of Montreal was in town and the seldom disappoint (Thanks Danny for the heads up). I have heard them probably four times now, each in different venues, and last night they played in the new/old venue The Murray Theater (Guy, get a real website, but still, this may be the best venue in Utah, make note)
I think I may be in love. The show didn't stop for one second and each song was accompanied with odd video visuals and live action vignettes performed by a crew of 4-7 performers that included scenes like an old-timey bar fight and golden aliens raising a shaving-cream covered Kevin Barnes from the dead. The show finished with a great cover of the Ramones (I forget the song) then Smells Like Teens Spirit (which made me wish I was a teen again).
But here is the Good Idea : The swag table had all the usual t-shirts, buttons and CD's. But they also had several cool objects (like lamps, wall stickers and 3D posters). Each purchase came with a digital download of the new "Skeletal Lamping Collection". And each object had a very Of Montreal signature style to it.
I always like to support artists and buy stuff at shows because more of your money goes to the artist than to the label (at least that's what I think), but the truth is I often have the record, or at least the songs that I want from that band (or I probably wouldn't go to that show). Of Montreal usually includes secret discs when you buy something at a show, but this is a one up on that idea. This unique idea lets you get a piece of creativity that you can pass on in a way that you can't do with an mp3 (Vinyl collectors often say that you can't pass down an mp3 collection to your kids). I love it. Polyvinyl records, and other labels have been doing it with Vinyl records for a while now (which I believe has helped the vinyl industry , but I don't have numbers), but I thought it was incredibly creative way of looking outside a normal marketing paradigm. Plus you get cool stuff. For the artist I don't think it was about marketing though (He gave away a melody to Outback steakhouse for a song).*
From the packaging of the wall stickers that I bought:
"The goal of the Skeletal Lamping Collection is to expand the perception of music packaging beyond the traditional flat, square artwork. ...
...Ideally every object you bring into your home should feel exceptional to you, otherwise it just adds to the clutter and chaos of your life. We feel, there's no reason to produce another object that just sits on a shelf. We only want to produce objects that have functionality and can be treasured for their singularity. "
Kudos to Of Montreal and thier label on this one. I hope others follow suit.
*Maybe this discussion should be another blog post on selling albums vs. selling out and what to do when an ad agency murders your song and you are legally obliged to not say a thing about it. But I am glad they played the original at the show. So good that it made me not want to go Outback tonight.
I think I may be in love. The show didn't stop for one second and each song was accompanied with odd video visuals and live action vignettes performed by a crew of 4-7 performers that included scenes like an old-timey bar fight and golden aliens raising a shaving-cream covered Kevin Barnes from the dead. The show finished with a great cover of the Ramones (I forget the song) then Smells Like Teens Spirit (which made me wish I was a teen again).
But here is the Good Idea : The swag table had all the usual t-shirts, buttons and CD's. But they also had several cool objects (like lamps, wall stickers and 3D posters). Each purchase came with a digital download of the new "Skeletal Lamping Collection". And each object had a very Of Montreal signature style to it.
I always like to support artists and buy stuff at shows because more of your money goes to the artist than to the label (at least that's what I think), but the truth is I often have the record, or at least the songs that I want from that band (or I probably wouldn't go to that show). Of Montreal usually includes secret discs when you buy something at a show, but this is a one up on that idea. This unique idea lets you get a piece of creativity that you can pass on in a way that you can't do with an mp3 (Vinyl collectors often say that you can't pass down an mp3 collection to your kids). I love it. Polyvinyl records, and other labels have been doing it with Vinyl records for a while now (which I believe has helped the vinyl industry , but I don't have numbers), but I thought it was incredibly creative way of looking outside a normal marketing paradigm. Plus you get cool stuff. For the artist I don't think it was about marketing though (He gave away a melody to Outback steakhouse for a song).*
From the packaging of the wall stickers that I bought:
"The goal of the Skeletal Lamping Collection is to expand the perception of music packaging beyond the traditional flat, square artwork. ...
...Ideally every object you bring into your home should feel exceptional to you, otherwise it just adds to the clutter and chaos of your life. We feel, there's no reason to produce another object that just sits on a shelf. We only want to produce objects that have functionality and can be treasured for their singularity. "
Kudos to Of Montreal and thier label on this one. I hope others follow suit.
*Maybe this discussion should be another blog post on selling albums vs. selling out and what to do when an ad agency murders your song and you are legally obliged to not say a thing about it. But I am glad they played the original at the show. So good that it made me not want to go Outback tonight.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Good Ad, Bad Ad
People in the Ad world all want a memorable ad. The problem, I think is that a memorable ad does not make it an effective one. Even ads that I love have little connection with the brand, or even worse, get in the way of a really great product.
I think the Mac vs. PC ads are kind of like that.
It was fairly clever at first, but know I feel like a voyeur watching a bad Jr. High Election debate. I really don't care about Vista problems and I don't think Apple gets any traction by talking about their competitors, when they could just show us cool pictures of their lovely machines and we will drool and buy them. They plug into the desire that pushes a consumer forward (as do their original ipod silhouette ads).
Here is another case in point: Holiday Inn Express.
Good ads? Great ads? Well they are totally memorable ads, but all they tell us is that a really clever agency came up with some good creative. Holiday Inn Express = Smart. Does this make you want to consume this product? I want to be smart, and furthermore, I want people to think I am smart, but it doesn't move me.
Here is the thing, the Holiday Inn Express brand is a new product. Previously my brain put Holiday Inns in the same category as Best Western: Cheap, family motels where you pull the bed spread off when you walk in so as to not make contact with the stains. But the new ads aren't much different than their older ads which had a similar message(and were very clever).
I stayed at an express a few weeks ago and discovered that they are much closer to the Marriot line as far as quality goes. They have a standardized set of accommodations including really fantastic beds, nice linens and a selection of firm or soft pillows depending on your preference. Everything about the place is restful and they have this nice graphic touch labeling everything (towels=soft, soap= cleanse) This may just feel like a cutesy decorating touch, but it is a little detail that you notice when you stay that assures you that your lodgings are going to be what you expected.
Doing a fair amount of travel for work, I am going to prefer this brand to others, but not because of the ads, which I like, but because the experience is much different, and better than I expected. I am surprised that they have done nothing, advertising-wise to express the difference between the Holiday Inn Express and the Holiday Inn Family Resorts. There is a series on the breakfast bars which is nice, but nothing to really distinquish the brand (P.S. the breakfast bar is really pretty okay, at least a half-step above the regular "continental breakfast" spreads). The desires that push me when finding a place to stay when I am traveling for work are generally: rest, security and price. I find that the HI Express is pretty competitive in all three. So maybe that is why I wish the ads did their job better.
Or maybe it's just because I have been staying at Holiday Inn Expresses and I really am that much smarter and can improve their ads for them now.
Any other ads out there that are funny/memorable, but don't move you as a consumer?
I think the Mac vs. PC ads are kind of like that.
It was fairly clever at first, but know I feel like a voyeur watching a bad Jr. High Election debate. I really don't care about Vista problems and I don't think Apple gets any traction by talking about their competitors, when they could just show us cool pictures of their lovely machines and we will drool and buy them. They plug into the desire that pushes a consumer forward (as do their original ipod silhouette ads).
Here is another case in point: Holiday Inn Express.
Good ads? Great ads? Well they are totally memorable ads, but all they tell us is that a really clever agency came up with some good creative. Holiday Inn Express = Smart. Does this make you want to consume this product? I want to be smart, and furthermore, I want people to think I am smart, but it doesn't move me.
Here is the thing, the Holiday Inn Express brand is a new product. Previously my brain put Holiday Inns in the same category as Best Western: Cheap, family motels where you pull the bed spread off when you walk in so as to not make contact with the stains. But the new ads aren't much different than their older ads which had a similar message(and were very clever).
I stayed at an express a few weeks ago and discovered that they are much closer to the Marriot line as far as quality goes. They have a standardized set of accommodations including really fantastic beds, nice linens and a selection of firm or soft pillows depending on your preference. Everything about the place is restful and they have this nice graphic touch labeling everything (towels=soft, soap= cleanse) This may just feel like a cutesy decorating touch, but it is a little detail that you notice when you stay that assures you that your lodgings are going to be what you expected.
Doing a fair amount of travel for work, I am going to prefer this brand to others, but not because of the ads, which I like, but because the experience is much different, and better than I expected. I am surprised that they have done nothing, advertising-wise to express the difference between the Holiday Inn Express and the Holiday Inn Family Resorts. There is a series on the breakfast bars which is nice, but nothing to really distinquish the brand (P.S. the breakfast bar is really pretty okay, at least a half-step above the regular "continental breakfast" spreads). The desires that push me when finding a place to stay when I am traveling for work are generally: rest, security and price. I find that the HI Express is pretty competitive in all three. So maybe that is why I wish the ads did their job better.
Or maybe it's just because I have been staying at Holiday Inn Expresses and I really am that much smarter and can improve their ads for them now.
Any other ads out there that are funny/memorable, but don't move you as a consumer?
Company Blog
My company, Kineto Pictures Inc., started a blog a while ago. Laura, our office manager who is also a talented and clever writer, updates it regularly. So if you want to see what we are up to and check out some fun links, go here.
Friday, October 24, 2008
More Moderation in all things
Come on guys, no body running for president is a terrorist, or a criminal, or an idiot.
They all misspeak, they have all shook hands with someone they don't agree with and have probably spoken at events that you wouldn't attend. But enough with the invective already. I am growing tired of the politics of calling your opponent a fool, a liar, or a thief.
Neither of our candidates are saints. I wish more of the debate was about their policies of governance. No matter whom is elected, they will probably spend less time working towards the cause that you believe in and more time trying to patch together a broken economy, and trying to find enough money to simply run the government.
I don't think there is a more apt time to reflect on JFK words, now is not a time to ask our country what it can do for us.
I still believe in an honorable American ideal, maybe it is like Plato's chair and doesn't really exist, but I think we are still a people willing to work to build it.
Either way, I'd like to encourage you to vote, but also to do a little ready, studying, thinking and praying. You might come to a different conclusion than me, but that's what we can do for our country.
They all misspeak, they have all shook hands with someone they don't agree with and have probably spoken at events that you wouldn't attend. But enough with the invective already. I am growing tired of the politics of calling your opponent a fool, a liar, or a thief.
Neither of our candidates are saints. I wish more of the debate was about their policies of governance. No matter whom is elected, they will probably spend less time working towards the cause that you believe in and more time trying to patch together a broken economy, and trying to find enough money to simply run the government.
I don't think there is a more apt time to reflect on JFK words, now is not a time to ask our country what it can do for us.
I still believe in an honorable American ideal, maybe it is like Plato's chair and doesn't really exist, but I think we are still a people willing to work to build it.
Either way, I'd like to encourage you to vote, but also to do a little ready, studying, thinking and praying. You might come to a different conclusion than me, but that's what we can do for our country.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Moderation in all things
I added comment moderation a while ago. While I like people to feel that they can post whatever they'd like I do have family members come here and I got a few comments on my couches post that contained a few choice words (not of my choosing).
I might go back to the old way, but this is just an FYI if you post and wonder why your comment doesn't show up immediately.
Also, it is much easier to comment when you aren't using a reader. I forgot to mention that. I don't comment nearly as much as I used to.
I might go back to the old way, but this is just an FYI if you post and wonder why your comment doesn't show up immediately.
Also, it is much easier to comment when you aren't using a reader. I forgot to mention that. I don't comment nearly as much as I used to.
links
I kind of like this blog world. I have found though that how I interact with it greatly alters my experience. I use to have everyone bookmarked and I could wander for hours checking on un-updated blogs and discovering new ones. Bloglinks are the new friendoffriends.
Now I use a reader (googlereader) which is far more efficient, but it does change some things. One, I don't have to sort through so many before I find someone who has updated. Two, I can follow a lot more blogs. But the third thing is what makes me wistful, to wit: I am less likely to stumble upon a new blog unless someone links to it in the body of their post. So I miss that, but maybe it allows me to actually get work done during the day (I follow about 70 blogs). I think that this kind of "success" in the blog world has also got to inhibit the blogs ability to make money (I don't see banner ads anymore).
This different kind of interaction has also made me think about critical mass. If a blogger doesn't post much I forget about hirm (him/her), but my reader remembers, and when they come back to life, I can follow them again. But there are a couple of blogs that I really like that post WAY too much. I followed the serif for a long time (graphic design is one of my secret-wish jobs), and even though they have great taste over there and are posting a lot of interesting content. There are just TOO many posts on a daily basis for me. Now that might just be me, but I think any more than one or two posts a day is about my limit. The Sartorialist (THE fashion blog) hits that maximum about right, but anymore and I might have to remove him as well. I am only a casual observer of both fields (though I might use concepts gleaned from either in my work). Personal blogs can hit critical mass pretty easily. I think though, that ideally once a week is a nice figure, especially if everyone didn't update on the same day (Right now there is a deluge of Monday updaters, whom I theorize are trying to prove that their weekend was the fabuloustest, or who simply need to put off starting the work week as long as possible by blogging).
My other pet peeve is people that write really long blog entries (even if I like the content), so maybe I should end this now.
Now I use a reader (googlereader) which is far more efficient, but it does change some things. One, I don't have to sort through so many before I find someone who has updated. Two, I can follow a lot more blogs. But the third thing is what makes me wistful, to wit: I am less likely to stumble upon a new blog unless someone links to it in the body of their post. So I miss that, but maybe it allows me to actually get work done during the day (I follow about 70 blogs). I think that this kind of "success" in the blog world has also got to inhibit the blogs ability to make money (I don't see banner ads anymore).
This different kind of interaction has also made me think about critical mass. If a blogger doesn't post much I forget about hirm (him/her), but my reader remembers, and when they come back to life, I can follow them again. But there are a couple of blogs that I really like that post WAY too much. I followed the serif for a long time (graphic design is one of my secret-wish jobs), and even though they have great taste over there and are posting a lot of interesting content. There are just TOO many posts on a daily basis for me. Now that might just be me, but I think any more than one or two posts a day is about my limit. The Sartorialist (THE fashion blog) hits that maximum about right, but anymore and I might have to remove him as well. I am only a casual observer of both fields (though I might use concepts gleaned from either in my work). Personal blogs can hit critical mass pretty easily. I think though, that ideally once a week is a nice figure, especially if everyone didn't update on the same day (Right now there is a deluge of Monday updaters, whom I theorize are trying to prove that their weekend was the fabuloustest, or who simply need to put off starting the work week as long as possible by blogging).
My other pet peeve is people that write really long blog entries (even if I like the content), so maybe I should end this now.
Friday, September 12, 2008
FYI
for those googloopers out there. I am number 7 when you do a search of "Hockey Taz Tatoos". Maybe I need some pics so I can be more helpful to searchers.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
eCouches dot com
If you know me, then you probably know "Big Blue" the old family couch that made its way into my basement. Well I tried to get modern and I bought a new couch. With so many couches in my house now (I count 4), I figured I should get rid of one and as much as I will miss Big Blue (AKA Bluey, or "The Snuggler"), I decided I should sell him.
What better way to sell things than with the internets. Basically it is the "net" of computers and you can use your computers to look at my computers. It's all kinds of complicated, but anywho, I put up an advertisement on Facedbook. You can see it here.
I got one interested party, but it was a hassle to be at home when they wanted to pick it up ('cause lazy) plus I have stadium seating in my basement now. So I didn't sell it, but the ad(vertisement) has been up for months. Then out of the blue I started getting e.mails (electro-mails) offering to buy. This thing has been up for months and the emails look a little fishy, so I decided to respond. I know there are professionals that do this much better than I do, but I thought I'd let you folks in on my eCommunications on the eInternet.
Letter number one:
Here it is if you hate to read pictures:
Initially i will like you to email me back to this email address now,
kelly_wilson505@yahoo.com
I'm ok with the price for the item. I'll be using this opportunity to let you understand that you'll be receiving the payment in mode of check from my client and the amount you'll be receiving will be more than the item fees. Like i told you i'm purchasing on behalf of my client and the excess payment is my own commission with the money i'll need to pay for our shipping company. So i want you to promise me that you are so honest to deduct just the amount for the item and send the excess money through westernunion as soon as you receive the payment from my client. The payment will be sent immediately you agree with me to deduct just the amount for the item and send the balance through any WESTERN UNION OFFICE well known to you and you'll be receiving it the next day. &n bsp; one more time i want you to get back to me with this email addreess to day **omitted**
There won't be any problem about the shippment. I'll be handling that with my DHL# so i want you to get back to me asap now with your full mailing information. Email me your full name, address and phone# now if you agree and assure me that you'll deduct just the amount for the item and send the balance through WESTERN UNION so that the payment can be sent immediately.
Notice i want you to go and end the auction for me i would end it by my self but i dont know i to do it if u can do that for me i will adding $10 to your payment
Here is the email addreess yiou have to email me back now
kelly_wilson505@yahoo.com
Below are the questions i have for you.
1)is the item in good condition?
2)is any WESTERN UNION location where you can send the balance money arround you?
3)can you make sure you get the payment cashed at your bank the same day you receive it?
4)can you allow me to send DHL for the pick up and complete the transaction the day you receive the check?
If yes to all my questions, kindly email me back your full name, address and mobile# asap today
i want you to email me your full name and addreess
YOU CAN EMAIL ME BACK TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS NOW
**omitted**
Thanks,
My response:
Can you pay for this item with gold dubloons? I'd appreciate it if you could pay for this item in gold dubloons as I have decided to move towards the gold standard. You can deliver them however you want but preferably in a small burlap sack with an "$" on the side (I prefer the "$" with two lines through it if possible :))
thanx! (you will love this couch!!!)
____________
The day before I got this message:
RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE SHOULD BE SENT TO (paulsmth7610@gmail.com)
Hello I'm paul smiths, I hail from Canada in ottawa city, I came across your advert and am highly interested in Purchasing your ($50 - Big Blue, the warm embrace of a sectional couch) which you offer for sale.I Due to the fact that its been a long time have been searching for it, Please Kindly get back to me as soon as possible with the necessary answers to the question in mind, Are you the first owner? The present condition? Your final asking price?And I will also like you to send me Pictures to enable me view what I intend to purchase and i will like you to know that my form of payment is through a Certified Check or a USPS Money Order ..I await your urgent response so that we can proceed further.
RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE SHOULD BE SENT TO (**omitted**)
Regards
Paul
my response:
okay, this sounds fine and acceptable.
There will be a minor transaction fee. I will pay you with a transfer from western union. Also, I will take 20$ off the price of the couch, there is some slight discoloration from blood stains. Don't worry most of it is gone and you CANNOT get any DNA evidence from it.
YOU WILL LOVE THIS COUCH!!! It is good for cuddling, snuggling and even taking naps. the stains that I mentioned earlier DO NOT SMELL AT ALL! and you will still sleep soundly.
I look forward to working with you!!!!
What better way to sell things than with the internets. Basically it is the "net" of computers and you can use your computers to look at my computers. It's all kinds of complicated, but anywho, I put up an advertisement on Facedbook. You can see it here.
I got one interested party, but it was a hassle to be at home when they wanted to pick it up ('cause lazy) plus I have stadium seating in my basement now. So I didn't sell it, but the ad(vertisement) has been up for months. Then out of the blue I started getting e.mails (electro-mails) offering to buy. This thing has been up for months and the emails look a little fishy, so I decided to respond. I know there are professionals that do this much better than I do, but I thought I'd let you folks in on my eCommunications on the eInternet.
Letter number one:
Here it is if you hate to read pictures:
Initially i will like you to email me back to this email address now,
kelly_wilson505@yahoo.com
I'm ok with the price for the item. I'll be using this opportunity to let you understand that you'll be receiving the payment in mode of check from my client and the amount you'll be receiving will be more than the item fees. Like i told you i'm purchasing on behalf of my client and the excess payment is my own commission with the money i'll need to pay for our shipping company. So i want you to promise me that you are so honest to deduct just the amount for the item and send the excess money through westernunion as soon as you receive the payment from my client. The payment will be sent immediately you agree with me to deduct just the amount for the item and send the balance through any WESTERN UNION OFFICE well known to you and you'll be receiving it the next day. &n bsp; one more time i want you to get back to me with this email addreess to day **omitted**
There won't be any problem about the shippment. I'll be handling that with my DHL# so i want you to get back to me asap now with your full mailing information. Email me your full name, address and phone# now if you agree and assure me that you'll deduct just the amount for the item and send the balance through WESTERN UNION so that the payment can be sent immediately.
Notice i want you to go and end the auction for me i would end it by my self but i dont know i to do it if u can do that for me i will adding $10 to your payment
Here is the email addreess yiou have to email me back now
kelly_wilson505@yahoo.com
Below are the questions i have for you.
1)is the item in good condition?
2)is any WESTERN UNION location where you can send the balance money arround you?
3)can you make sure you get the payment cashed at your bank the same day you receive it?
4)can you allow me to send DHL for the pick up and complete the transaction the day you receive the check?
If yes to all my questions, kindly email me back your full name, address and mobile# asap today
i want you to email me your full name and addreess
YOU CAN EMAIL ME BACK TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS NOW
**omitted**
Thanks,
My response:
Can you pay for this item with gold dubloons? I'd appreciate it if you could pay for this item in gold dubloons as I have decided to move towards the gold standard. You can deliver them however you want but preferably in a small burlap sack with an "$" on the side (I prefer the "$" with two lines through it if possible :))
thanx! (you will love this couch!!!)
____________
The day before I got this message:
RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE SHOULD BE SENT TO (paulsmth7610@gmail.com)Hello I'm paul smiths, I hail from Canada in ottawa city, I came across your advert and am highly interested in Purchasing your ($50 - Big Blue, the warm embrace of a sectional couch) which you offer for sale.I Due to the fact that its been a long time have been searching for it, Please Kindly get back to me as soon as possible with the necessary answers to the question in mind, Are you the first owner? The present condition? Your final asking price?And I will also like you to send me Pictures to enable me view what I intend to purchase and i will like you to know that my form of payment is through a Certified Check or a USPS Money Order ..I await your urgent response so that we can proceed further.
RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE SHOULD BE SENT TO (**omitted**)
Regards
Paul
my response:
okay, this sounds fine and acceptable.
There will be a minor transaction fee. I will pay you with a transfer from western union. Also, I will take 20$ off the price of the couch, there is some slight discoloration from blood stains. Don't worry most of it is gone and you CANNOT get any DNA evidence from it.
YOU WILL LOVE THIS COUCH!!! It is good for cuddling, snuggling and even taking naps. the stains that I mentioned earlier DO NOT SMELL AT ALL! and you will still sleep soundly.
I look forward to working with you!!!!
Monday, September 08, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
joke (based on a true story)
Sometimes people who are divorced move into the singles ward, and I welcome them. But then they get remarried and I feel like I just got lapped.
Maybe someday I will get an Olympic story wrote about me how even after I got lapped, I just didn't give up, and people slow-clapped for me when I crossed the finish line.
______
Q: Do you know what the worst thing in the world is?
A: Yup, it's genocide.
Next to that is blogs by single people that complain about being single.
Maybe someday I will get an Olympic story wrote about me how even after I got lapped, I just didn't give up, and people slow-clapped for me when I crossed the finish line.
______
Q: Do you know what the worst thing in the world is?
A: Yup, it's genocide.
Next to that is blogs by single people that complain about being single.
Do the Apocalypso
I am kind of fascinated by the Apocalypse. My friend Adam and I used to pretend it was the Apocalypse on his trampoline and we would shoot lazers out of our hands at the armies of Gog (and Magog) because that's what we thought the priesthood could do. I am not trying to be sacrilicious here, we really kind of though that, but we also used to debate whether or not Ninjas were allowed crossbows in olden times ('cause of the "no guns for ninjas" rule).
Even though I am a little doubtful about the lazers, I am still intrigued by this period, and even though my theology doesn't really allow me to believe in Zombies*, I am still going to prepare just in case. I just hope they are the slow kind like in most movie and not the fast kind like in 28 days later 'cause I am slow of foot. I also think that if I was surrounded by Zombies on all sides and they were slowly closing in on me, I would start believing in the rapture real quick.
But I guess whether it is Zombies or Gog's or whatevs I am still kind of stoked for when it all goes down (think about this: no matter what happens food storage is still a good idea). I just hope the internet is one of the last things to go down because I really like playing wordscraper (nee scrabbulous). Man, if being good at scrabble was a weapon, I would not fear the Zombies, no, not one bit.
*This is for people that tell me who they are, they get specific blogs on the topics that they like.
Even though I am a little doubtful about the lazers, I am still intrigued by this period, and even though my theology doesn't really allow me to believe in Zombies*, I am still going to prepare just in case. I just hope they are the slow kind like in most movie and not the fast kind like in 28 days later 'cause I am slow of foot. I also think that if I was surrounded by Zombies on all sides and they were slowly closing in on me, I would start believing in the rapture real quick.
But I guess whether it is Zombies or Gog's or whatevs I am still kind of stoked for when it all goes down (think about this: no matter what happens food storage is still a good idea). I just hope the internet is one of the last things to go down because I really like playing wordscraper (nee scrabbulous). Man, if being good at scrabble was a weapon, I would not fear the Zombies, no, not one bit.
*This is for people that tell me who they are, they get specific blogs on the topics that they like.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Anonymous
You know if you are writing as anonymous you neither get the credit (nor blame) for the thing that you just wrote, and like I've said before, I will read your comment and think, "Oh, that's nice, the guy who wrote 'Footprints' left a comment on my blog".
But you are welcome here anyway. And that time when you had a dream and you thought you were reading this blog all by yourselv, well you were not alone.
Because there is a ghost in your house.
But you are welcome here anyway. And that time when you had a dream and you thought you were reading this blog all by yourselv, well you were not alone.
Because there is a ghost in your house.
Monday, August 25, 2008
More men
Probably the best blog of Mormon jokes of all times is this one:
Regis Blog
If you think it is about Regis Philbin you prolly should read the very first post before you read anything else.
Regis Blog
If you think it is about Regis Philbin you prolly should read the very first post before you read anything else.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
BRAND NEW.
I am not a graphic designer, but I like to draw pictures. I like them on paper though and don't do so well when I have to use a computator. Back when I was talking about branding myself an old mission buddy* made me this:
If you can top his design for gladhanded I will give you a **SUBSTANTIAL REWARD. Also I will post the pictures of entrants.
*(we both went to Spain and taught people how to be Mormons, also we sweated)
**I will draw your name in cool letters, like it is some sort of graffiti or something, you'll have to wait because I will probably do it in church and it might be on the back of a church program. I have been told that I am pretty good at this. Or I will draw on your shoes for you.
If you can top his design for gladhanded I will give you a **SUBSTANTIAL REWARD. Also I will post the pictures of entrants.*(we both went to Spain and taught people how to be Mormons, also we sweated)
**I will draw your name in cool letters, like it is some sort of graffiti or something, you'll have to wait because I will probably do it in church and it might be on the back of a church program. I have been told that I am pretty good at this. Or I will draw on your shoes for you.
Friday, July 11, 2008
MENU UPDATE!!!
My coming "Mormon" themed restaurant will have a children's menu, so far we only have one item on it:
Chicken Tender Mercies.
Chicken Tender Mercies.
Zombiez
Sometimes I think that the hardest part about preparing for the zombie invasion is knowing which scientists to trust. I mean will they be normal people infected with "rage" that move with blinding fury? or re-animated necrotic flesh spurred on by an insatiable hunger for human flesh (including the appendix)? Who knows? You would think it doesn't matter that much, but it will TOTALLY change my defensive strategy. Either way, is should keep a couple of weapons just to be safe. Does anyone know one can get one's shotgun "sawed off".* Anywho, I am not trying to be alarmist or anything, but I think it is about time we began a rational discussion about what to do when the dead begin to walk (I am not talking about the Rapture, 'cause I will be like, "Yo, peace out!!" twinkle). Also because I think a lot of politicians are ignoring this issue (How does Obama expect to have hope when his loved ones will be moaning his name in tattered clothes, hungering for his delicious and articulate brain). Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.
P.S. If you are a sniper, I am looking for friends!!!
EDIT: I borrowed this book from Lee. It's kind of the authority on this subject.
*IDEA: During the zombie invasion, start a "Saw Off" business. Do not accept cash (axes will be more valuable). Also, make friends with that guy who keeps an old bus in his front yard, it would make a pretty good escape/assault vehicle.
P.S. If you are a sniper, I am looking for friends!!!
EDIT: I borrowed this book from Lee. It's kind of the authority on this subject.
*IDEA: During the zombie invasion, start a "Saw Off" business. Do not accept cash (axes will be more valuable). Also, make friends with that guy who keeps an old bus in his front yard, it would make a pretty good escape/assault vehicle.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
IDEAZ!
Here is an APPENDIX of good ideas. They are all free, no JOKE. If you make millions off of any of them you only have to give me one of your millions.
1. I'm gonna write a book called:
GET A JOB AND LOSE WEIGHT
How a stressful job will help you worry the pounds away.
I'll probably only sell a couple of million.
2. The UTA traxxx should have a car on each train dedicated to scooters, no seats, just a big freight car with a place to lock in the scooters. Most people like the idea of trax but don't like getting too and from the station at either end. UTA could sell a more expensive scooter pass and more people would use the train. This idea is made of gold and I have more details if you are interested.
3. Someone needs to make a car stereo for the iphone and let the iphone be the faceplate. It is already about the right size and then you will always take it with you. It could even be keyed in so that only your iphone would work with it. Tadah! anti theft device! It is so simple and genius I can't believe no one has done it. I think the biggest challenge is the frequency on which AT*T opperates (a thing which seems to always cause interference with speakers).
4. Piecake.
I have talked about this elsewhere and was even given a delicious piecake on the anniversary of my birth, but we need to talk about it more. Who is going to be in charge of starting the web-community around this idea (it is VERY WEB2.0)It is a pie INSIDE a cake. It would have a tool where you can "virutally" try out combinations like apple pie inside a carrot cake or cherry pie inside a double chocolate cake. I bet a lot of people would do coconut cream inside a German Chocolate cake, but that's there business.
5. Back-scratch therapy
You have seen it at church, but I think someone should bring this art out of obscurity. A good back scratch makes life worth living. You could have church pews with cushions along the backs of the pew in front of you (for a headrest) and if you don't have a white dress shirt (best thing for a b.s.) they could be provided. There are also different fees associated with different "types" of backscratch: "Hard" "Tickle" "Spelling" (there will be a selection of poetry to work from) and the ever-popular "going on a treasure hunt".
6. an anti-viral ad.
Everyone thinks viral ads are a good idea, and that if you make an ad and then call it a "viral ad" and make it cheaply that everyone will want to email it. I would like to make an ad that stops people from forwarding it and also encourages them to spend less money and maybe go outside once in a while. This ad will also have high production costs and involve well trained actors.
7. Extra large size pudding cup.
So I don't have to eat three.
That's it for now, but I will have more in the future.
STAY TUNED!!!!
appendix joke!
1. I'm gonna write a book called:
GET A JOB AND LOSE WEIGHT
How a stressful job will help you worry the pounds away.
I'll probably only sell a couple of million.
2. The UTA traxxx should have a car on each train dedicated to scooters, no seats, just a big freight car with a place to lock in the scooters. Most people like the idea of trax but don't like getting too and from the station at either end. UTA could sell a more expensive scooter pass and more people would use the train. This idea is made of gold and I have more details if you are interested.
3. Someone needs to make a car stereo for the iphone and let the iphone be the faceplate. It is already about the right size and then you will always take it with you. It could even be keyed in so that only your iphone would work with it. Tadah! anti theft device! It is so simple and genius I can't believe no one has done it. I think the biggest challenge is the frequency on which AT*T opperates (a thing which seems to always cause interference with speakers).
4. Piecake.
I have talked about this elsewhere and was even given a delicious piecake on the anniversary of my birth, but we need to talk about it more. Who is going to be in charge of starting the web-community around this idea (it is VERY WEB2.0)It is a pie INSIDE a cake. It would have a tool where you can "virutally" try out combinations like apple pie inside a carrot cake or cherry pie inside a double chocolate cake. I bet a lot of people would do coconut cream inside a German Chocolate cake, but that's there business.
5. Back-scratch therapy
You have seen it at church, but I think someone should bring this art out of obscurity. A good back scratch makes life worth living. You could have church pews with cushions along the backs of the pew in front of you (for a headrest) and if you don't have a white dress shirt (best thing for a b.s.) they could be provided. There are also different fees associated with different "types" of backscratch: "Hard" "Tickle" "Spelling" (there will be a selection of poetry to work from) and the ever-popular "going on a treasure hunt".
6. an anti-viral ad.
Everyone thinks viral ads are a good idea, and that if you make an ad and then call it a "viral ad" and make it cheaply that everyone will want to email it. I would like to make an ad that stops people from forwarding it and also encourages them to spend less money and maybe go outside once in a while. This ad will also have high production costs and involve well trained actors.
7. Extra large size pudding cup.
So I don't have to eat three.
That's it for now, but I will have more in the future.
STAY TUNED!!!!
appendix joke!
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