Sorrow and Happines

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So, most of my stuff this year has been pretty heavy. I think most of my jokes end up on twitter (@damiandayton), facebook, or popecat these days. I think this is may be a place for more serious stuff. Deal with it.

or don't ('cause this might get kind of long, and preachy)

So I am going to get to the point. It's been a great year, it's been a tough year. You can probably say that about most years, but this year, and the last four months probably more so. I've often said that any year where you can't get your heart broke isn't really a year worth living, and I think I have had a lot of living in this year. So I when I got asked to speak in Church, I asked if I could speak about Happiness. Usually I don't get to churchy around here, but Happiness is a pretty important thing, especially when you are not so happy.

Here are some pictures I have taken recently

I have been extremely happy this year. I've traveled, I've fallen in love, but I have also had my heart broken or at least bruised, my mom's cancer returned, and I needed back surgery, which kept me in bed to think about it all.

HAPPINESS, A REVOLUTIONARY CONCEPT

The doctrine of Happiness is actually a pretty revolutionary one. The Old testament and New Testament COMBINED mention the world a grand total of zero times. Mormon scripture fairs a little better 1 mention in the Doctrine and Covenants and 1 in the Pearl of Great Price. However, our good ole Book of Mormon mentions the word 17 times. Still not much though, considering that we refer to our Creator's plan for us to be called "The Plan of Happiness".

Early Christians in some sects used self-flagelation (the whipping of self) to use pain as a way to atone. Dan Brown blew this out of proportion in his book about that Ninja Turtle's code, but often people wear their religion like a headache (I stole this phrase from the son of Elder Hollandwho was in my Freshman English class- bragable). Often fundamentalist of many faiths look at this life as a veil of tears to pass through to only find happiness in the great beyond or hereafter AKA cloud city. For that reason, the doctrine of Happiness is really a pretty radical one. Consider this quote:

"Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God."
(Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Section Five, 1842–43, p. 255).

So wait, religion is supposed to make me HAPPY, like that is the purpose??? or is it just "the end thereof". Do we expect too much of happiness, and if we are not happy do we say it is because we still haven't kept all the commandments?

Most of those 17 scriptures in the Book of Mormon that talk about happiness do so in reference to the fact that "wickedness never was happiness" (you look up the reference, brother lazybones) or a state of "neverending happiness" usually accompanied by a discussion of the afterlife. So what are we to think? We know what happiness is NOT (ie:wickedness, like saying bad swears or eating brownies with sin in them) OR it is just a final state. But get a load of this:
Mosiah 2:41

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

So there is SOME happiness (at least in the life of those that keep the commandments) AND some happiness in the future.
I am kind of not satisfied with this. I am a pretty good fellow, and I know a lot of people a lot more commandmenty than me, and yet they still have sorrow, and often times, deep sorrow.

SURPRISED BY JOY
Here is another really amazing scripture that is unique to Mormondom:
2 Nephi 2: 25

Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy

Unique to us is the belief that Adam's (and Eve's) decision was NOT a mistake, but a willfull act, without which Men (and women) could not exist at least not as we understand MEN (humans?mortals?) to be and further more with out this certain type of existence, we can now have a joy, that would not have been accessible to us, or mankind for that matter.

We kind of gloss over that scripture sometimes, but check out this companion scripture which can be found in our modern understanding of Genesis, which we call The Pearl of Great Price:
Moses 5:9-10

10 And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

There is some nice stuff in there, but look at this part again "and in this life I shall have joy"

Perhaps one of the first recorded prophesies. IN THIS LIFE, JOY.

so when you don't look at "happiness" joy fairs much better in the scriptures. almost 360 mentions. 98 of those are in the Old Testament (that's the big dusty one with the sad stories). They talk about all types of joy, joyful dancing, joy after victory, and joy in the Lord. There is also a lot of talk about joy through obedience. I am not going to talk about that, because I am pretty obedient, and sometimes I am still sad, and my mom still gets cancer and I still get my heart broken (if you do want to read about joy through obedience I highly recommend this talk by Elder Bednar).

I want to talk about sorrow, sadness and mourning and how it is important for Joy, not just as an opposite but as a necessary component.

JOY THROUGH MOURNING
Let's be honest (as though everything else has been a lie) for most of hones, even the righteous and faithful, life is hard, life is painful and comes with inevitable sorrows. I think therefore, there is a great paradox that for those that wish to be baptized take a covenant to suffer. Let me clarify. To enter this "plan of happiness" we read the following
Mosiah 18:8-9

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

I think it is significant that in order to enter this plan, we not only bear each other's burdens, but we really have to "MOURN with those that mourn" we must be sad with them. And as I have had hard times, i realize that it has brought me closer to family and friends, some whom I had grown distant from. Just the outpouring of support from friends and family from my last blog post and on facebook has been incredibly meaningful to me. and because I have been able to weep with my cousin Rachel, and share conversations and a blessing with my good friend Adam, that we are closer, that our joy is more full. not in contrast to the pain, but in some way because of it.
In Jeremiah 31:13-14 the lord promises to turn our "mourning into joy", and I have felt that, but only inasmuch as I have been willing to mourn with others, and to let them mourn with me. I have realized that when I stumble upon someone's sadness I don't need to offer a solution, I just need to weep with them. (Phillipians 2:1-2 indicates that the LORD's joy is full when we become one in this manner).

So today I got some great news. The radiation on the tumors in my Mom's brain has been effective. Her vision has returned, her headaches have gone away, and according to the MRI there are no evidence of the lesions that were there a month ago. We are still waiting for the results of the chemo everywhere else, but today I will have joy, and those that have wept with me will have joy with me. Today in this body in this flesh I may not always be happy, but I can have joy.

It is kind of why we are here.

(all images in this post have been taken in the last two months)

What you want to do.

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My Grandma used to say "We find time in life to do the things we want to do". She just turned 100 and there is no doubt what she wanted to do with her life. There is nothing more important to her than family.

My Dad would use that saying when I hadn't practiced the piano, to which I responded, "I know, I don't WANT to practice the piano." But the saying has been a sage one, and begs the question. "What do you want to do? Do your actions show it?"

Are you too busy?

About a week ago our family found out my Mom's cancer returned. She beat breast cancer once before, but it came back and brought friends. Recent tests showed that it isn't in her breast, but there are tumors in the lymph nodes around her lungs, lesions in her liver and in her spine. Today I also found out that there are lesions in her brain.

The thing is this, I can't do anything. So I booked a flight out there to do nothing with her. Fortunately I have an awesome business partner who is willing to shoulder a lot for me. Fortunately flights were inexpensive and most of my work this last week was supposed to be writing. So I was fortunate enough to go out there and do what I really wanted to do. Be with her while she was healthy.

But she isn't that healthy. She breathes heavily after doing her makeup. But she is brave and she doesn't let you know that. She got call after call while I was there and everytime she answered to phone with a smile" This is Susan! ...Me, oh I'm doing fine". When people ask me how I am doing I usually say "Good Enough" or give them a number (7 out of 10 is the average). My mom is doing "great" and she just had the worst news of her life and needs 5 naps just to make it through the day. She has some health issues, but mostly she is just tired.

But of all the women I know, she's got a reason to be tired. She has worn herself out in the service of others. What does she want to do? The answer has always been the same, stay busy, keep moving, and usually in the direction of others. Now listen, she's now saint. She's not perfect, I don't want to get in the business of making someone into someone that there not. But I am going to give my mom this: She's lived a lot more than women twice her age and gotten just about as much done. Here is a short list: Utah State PTA president, President Worldwide Organization for Women, Stake Relief Society President, Board Member of the Network of Religious Communities in Buffalo. 3 of those post she holds right now. But those are the ones that mean much to her. She is the mother of 5 fairly decent men. This is the one that has required the most work by far, and the one that hasn't gotten any easier.

Yet when she fills out a questionnaire she has to put occupation: none.

But then there are the intangibles. She never had any daughters, so instead, she has taken on countless daughters that didn't even know they were getting a new mom. I know it because I heard them calling her last week. Weeping on the phone with her thanking her for being a second mom when they needed one. They are in Iowa, and Los Angeles, and Salt Lake, and St. George and Buffalo. Some don't even speak English that well. For years she taught "Girls Creative Dance" she made enough money to pay for a babysitter for us and for her studio. She did it because she had to. She did it because the kids needed a Miss Susan to show them "hello mr. toes" and how to twirl and twirl and twirl, those little girls were all her daughters too. The girls that have married into this family, they became daughters too. Maybe they were harder, because she didn't choose them and they were taking something that she loved so much. But there is no doubt that that they were her daughters.

And even when it is hard to love, she kept on loving. I don't want to get into stories here, but you know who you are. The inconvenient loves, the loves on the other side of the political fence. Mom does that well. This is starting to sound like a Eulogy, but it isn't, it's about a weekend.

My mom has found the time to do what she wants to do. So I can find some time to do a little of what I want to do, and that's spend time with her.

So I went to Buffalo.

We talked about girls and dating. She gave me advice, some of it unwanted but all of it needed, desperately needed. We watched a little "What not to wear", we took naps on the couch, We went to the doctors, and chemo, and after Chemo and she had some appetite I took her on a date to an Italian restaurant where she let me pay. We went shopping for flowers, we filmed a cooking show so that she can show anyone how to make chocolate roll (a family recipe), we played with little Taylor, we fixed her website, we had a chocolate roll breakfast on the porch in the shade of her trees. We got hot wings, even though she couldn't eat any but because she knew I wanted some, I showed her my iPad and she pretended to care. We prayed together over our food and on the last night there I prayed with my Mom and my Dad and hugged them and told them I loved them and cried.

Now my mom is a fighter, and she is not gone yet, but the Lord knows her days and will take her when her mission is done. But you see, I want her to live a million years and meet my wife and my kids and all that, I want her to teach them "hello mr. toes" and how to twirl and twirl and twirl. I want her to give my wife advice on how to handle a guy like me. but for now, I can just find time to do what I want to do. And that is to do what she always taught, stay busy and keep moving, usually in the direction of other.

Now another wise person once said, "No success can compensate for failure in the home". What does that even mean? what is failure in the home? Is it when your kid grows up to be a ruffian? or a chiropractor? what if he leaves the church? or does something bad? is that a failure? What if he uses WAY too many question-marks?

No, that isn't failure. Those are the kids decisions. Failure in the home is if the kids grow up and don't know right from wrong. If the kids grow up and don't know that they are loved. There is a lot of stuff to figure out in life, especially as a parent. But you get those things right and you have done your job. My Mom does a lot of things that are great, but most importantly she lets us know we are loved, She teaches us right and wrong. Sometimes imperfectly, but she does these things.

I am not going to wait until people are gone to say these things. Today I am going to do the things I want to do. I am going to tell the people that I love, that I love them. I am going to leave work when it's more important to spend time with people. I am going to find beauty and love every day, and I am going to love the people that are difficult to love. I am going to find time to do what I want to do.

I made a music video and it was okay

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a while ago I made this music video on a date

but it wasn't for real. It was just for fun.

then I had a chance to make a music video FOR REALS for the Late Night Alumni. (see making of blog here) I have been hankering to film old people dancing in slow motion.

I also got to play with some lighting techniques. Play is often an underrated part of art. When we play with art, we try new things and make mistakes, but also stumble on happy accidents. Because the studio portion of this video wasn't covered in my budget, I figured I could do what I wanted to do. If I was viewing it as a purely client project, I would have played it much safer. Since I had some leeway I tried a few things.

I had seen this little french film and felt inspired by it.

What worked: the swinging lights, the altered frame rates

What didn't work: the shininess that I was trying to use to amplify the effect of the swinging lights. Unfortunately, this is most of the feedback on youtube about the video. We used glycerin to try to create the "glisten" effect, unfortunately it took focus away from Michelle Phan's incredible Make-up job

regardless, I am pretty happy with the results. Even if Becky looks "sweaty" "greasy" or "shiny" I think she looks beautiful here.

On Film Making

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My brother Brandon does these great posts on storytelling on his blog. I wish I wrote stuff like that.

Instead, I get a lot of people who tell me they have a great idea for a movie, and they ask me if I want to make it. I wanted to write a blog post about this, but haven't had the time. This week I got a message on facebook from someone I met asking me this. She had sent me a message before asking if I wanted to "make a movie", and I had kind of ignored it. and she seemed a little bummed that I hadn't answered her request earlier.

Anyway, here is how I responded.

Sorry I didn't respond sooner.

I didn't think you were serious about making a film. Here is the deal: Films are hard to make and expensive. Every week I get a lot of people that want to make a movie tell me about their idea. Some are good, some are not, but they are all expensive and all are hard to make.(EDIT: removed some personal whiny info) Here are some thoughts. They are kind of flippant, but so am I.

Here are some things to get you started:

-Get ready to be criticized. No one will ever love your idea as much as you do. (this is true of every movie). You will spend the next two years trying to get people to love your idea. That part is the financing part.

-The idea is only worth the paper it is printed on. If it is a fully developed screenplay, it has more paper and is worth more. but an idea by itself is not worth anything. (even a really really good idea).

-Financing is the hardest part. Cheap movies cost about 5 million dollars to make (a number I made up). People want to spend money on there own ideas so you will either need a) a lot of money b) a rich relative or c) a plan in how to turn someone else's money and your idea into a lot of money for them.

-Festivals can create buzz, but they seldom create profit. 90% (a number which I just made up) of movies at Sundance don't end up making much money. which is only important if you are using someone else's money and they plan on getting it back.

-I lied when I said financing the movie is the hardest part. Making it is the hardest part. I can't tell you how to do this part. I am still figuring it out, but I have some ideas.

-Lastly, here is my first bit of feedback on your idea: It doesn't seem like a very good one. Now don't get offended. I routinely get ripped for bad ideas and some of my best ideas have been torn to shreds. But this idea, as you presented it, doesn't seem very good. But I don't know, maybe with the right script, or the right director AND the right script it could be very funny. (EDITED TO REMOVE THE ACTUAL IDEA)

Now all of that can be overcome, but you have an uphill battle on your hands. I am sorry if this advice isn't very helpful. This is a hard business.

Good luck with your script!

-Damian

I probably come off as a jerk, but I promise, I am much less of a jerk than most of the people that you come in contact with when trying to get a movie made.

I've been gone since November

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NOVEMBER!/!?! serioulsy, November?

So, I have been busy. Since then I have:

growed a beard (it is sharp and pointy)

celebrated dos holidays

Cooked Christmas Dinner for 15

Shot, directed and edited my first music video (it gets released this week)

flew to Mexico, San Francisco and off the handle.

Landed our company's first national commercial (it involves fire, racecars and ponies)

ate a lot of burgers and Kentucky GRILLED chicken

cleaned my house

made a mess of my house

moved wards (Hello, married Mormons!)

worked with Kyle Busch (of Nascar fame), Sam Sarcinella (of I-am-engaged to Kyle Busch fame) and David Archuletta

Watched some TV

thought about Andre Churro, the inventor of the Churro.

blogged a bit elsewhere

managed expectations

went on a road trip (not like the movie)

camped

snow shewed

cooked some tinfoil dinner

didn't sleep

lost 40% of my hearing (left ear only)

spent time with niece-child

and so forth.

Mostly I have been working (like a dog, a hard-working dog) So I better write some blog stuff down. Maybe I will just post some blog-like emails that I wrote for work.

okay then.

Mormon Art

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I like to draw during Church and during Sunday School we talked about the Pioneers. They truly suffered and sacrificed a lot to come to this valley. We always talk about the major sacrifices of the pioneers, but sometimes don't think about their lesser sacrifices.

LIFE!

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I was going to do a bunch of stuff today. You know, get out there, really get stuff done. But just thinking about it was just wearing me out.

I think I am going to wait for my life to come out on DVD, but it'd be better if I could just download it on Hulu.

Coolest/Nerdiest day

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So I haven't wrote in this blog for a bit.

but then, I got interviewed to be on the OFFICIAL Star Wars blog, so I think that kind of make up for it. If you see me, I will mention this because it is TOTALLY bragable.

This happened because I learned how to use Twitter from my brother Adrian.

Also, because I have the Force.

Books (not the band, but you should listen to them also)

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I have many ideas for books, many are partially written and some are just (good?) ideas. Maybe those few of you that haven't stopped checking my blog periodically can help me figure out which one to finish first. The parentheticals aren't subtitles, but descriptions (if the title is not enough)

Here we go:

• Who Died and Made You a Casserole? Funeral Potatoes and other sad dishes (Mormon recipes and their reinvention).

• Women are From Mars and Men Can Make Sound Effects (Okay, we get it were different, but your formula is all wrong)

• Gardening Through the Apocalypse (because you can't live off of Capreses Salad and Salsa. imagine the Zombie Survival Guide mixed with Victory Gardens)

• Confessions of a Mormon Menace. (self congratulation/flagellation)

• So You Are Having a(n Evil) Baby? (the story of Ploepl and Hoetz and their concerned parents)

•Gryphon Bicycles (juvenile literature about a boy who flies, but not the way he dreams about)

•Carl Alt Delete (short story, a man creates his own online resurection after he find offline life so disatisfying)

Well what do you, my adoring public want (both of you)?

Maybe I should just focus on coming up with titles. I could go off for a while on movie ideas as well.

Let's just be friends

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She said that maybe we should just be friends.

I countered and asked if we could be friends with benefits.

She asked me what I meant.

I said, that maybe we should be friends but she should pay for my health insurance.

The summer of...

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Yeah, I promised a name for summer a long time ago. without a name this summer has been

The Summer of not warm but with lots of rain.
The Summer of not eating enough frozen custard
The Summer of I guess I'll just watch a little Ultimate Fighting until Daisy of Love is over.
Overtime Summer
The Summer of really, really, it's raining again
The Summer of life would probably be 100% more interesting with 10% more zombie attacks
The Summer of INTERNET!!!
The Summer of Saturday nights are for finishing videos about exciting business opportunities


THAT my friends is why it is important to name your summers. Without a name, your summer knows not what to do.

This summer may be many things

Roadtrip Summer
The Summer of Swing (rope not married couples)
The Summer of Love (didn't work the first time)
Homegrown Summer (I have a garden)
Air Summer (michael r.i.p.)

I even tried to sell everyone on this idea:

THE SUMMER OF DAMIAN

You know if everyone focused on me for one summer, we could take turns. Just think of how awesome this would be(for me).

But I think this summer is about the slower things, the finer things.

This summer is

The Backyard Summer

I'm not going to do anything inside this summer that I can do outside. I have a new garden a new firepit and a hammock that needs some quality time. Some of this summer will be in my little back yard, and some will be in the BIG backyard.

Even though I am the indoorsy type, this is the backyard summer. If you want a T-shirt just email me (though I already printed them up, but with the Summer of Damian logo, so that will have to do). So quit moping around the house for Michael (r.i.p.) and Suzanne Sommers (the King of Dunks and the Queen of Thighs) and start moping around your backyard.

This Summer Needs a Name

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But I don't thin you are going to like it.

announcement coming soon...

Bad Words

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I've got a side project. It's words that I hate.

Swears aren't the only kind of bad words out there.

linky link

INTEGRITAS

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So I have been doing an experiment.

This is for my brother Adrian, but really for me. Adrian is one of the most self-motivated people that I know. Currently he is working on an experiment about living with age-old virtues.

So here is the challenge that I have taken, and the pursuant experiment. For a year take up the cause of improving upon your virtues. Each month has a virtue associated with it and I personally challenge myself to live with that virtue as I understand it. I wear a wristband to remind me of that virtue and to talk with people who ask me about it. So this is the end of the first month. The month of INTEGRITY.

What a roast on me, huh? I mean I try to live with some integrity, but to proclaim myself as any kind of expert on the matter is cringe-inducing at best, hypocrisy at worst. But I want to be a better person and took up the challenge (even though I am not a bracelet-kind-of-guy).

What does Integrity mean? The Latin INTEGRITAS had something to do with being whole, or wholly united. I think of it as being "the same throughout". For me it has to do with a certain type of internal honesty and resistance to relativistic thinking.

My personal challenge consisted of a broad challenge, "Living with more integrity" and a specific challenge "To be unwilling to criticize anyone without being willing to offer the critique to them first." Yeah, really kind of me to be willing to criticize more. My thought though was that it would reduce criticism, especially backbiting and open opportunities for dialogue. To be the same in front of people as when they weren't there.

I found this challenge pushed me, pushed me to overcome resistance to confrontation, but I also had to bite my tongue a little more. Timing, when it comes to criticism it seems every bit as important as what is actually said. If an employee can and will correct behavior, no one else needs to know about it. If there is a family issue that needs to be discussed, talking about it with the person in-question accomplishes something. Whining about it to everyone else builds greater distrust. I don't want to use specifics from this challenge, because most of the conversations that ensued were great, but private, and by having more integrity I was able to keep my gripes that way.

So the month went fairly well, But I think I could use a year or two more working on this virtue. I am kind of proud of one story. i have that new phone, the one that people are talking about as a life-changing phone (it isn't, it's just a phone, but more computery). I had an extended warranty and the software started to act goofy. I was going to take it in, but I dropped it in some water and quickly pulled it out of the water. Over the next few days the software issue got worse.

So what do I do? The software problem was totally legit and should be covered, but I also did this bad warranty-voidable thing? As I pulled up to the minimalist store I had this debate in my head. How much do I really need to tell this guy to get my phone fixed? Is omission honest? Perhaps it is, but I thought it lacked integrity, so I tugged on my wristband and walked in. Some genius was signed up to help me and I decided to tell the whole story. To neither embellish nor to apologize, but to tell it like it is.

Unbeknown* to me the phone has a little moisture detector inside. I hadn't tripped the detector and I was in the clear and got a new phone. Now if I had lied, and the detector had been tripped, I wouldn't have a replacement phone, and this guy and I would both think I was a liar (which I try not to be). If I had told the truth and the detector had been tripped, the result would have been the same, but both the genius and I would have known that I told the truth.

In the end the "integrity" didn't win me a new phone. But I did win something. I proved to myself that I could be honest when it is easier not to be. This other guy saw it too. How much is your reputation worth? Certainly more than the price of a phone.

Oh yeah, this is how that story ends. The next day the phone fell out of my shirt pocket and cracked the screen. The software works just fine though, so it looks like I will be paying for my next phone upgrade.


*really that's a word?

What I have been up to:

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not much
just hangin' out
takin' it easy
just givin' people a soft time
leavin' off the last "g"
gettin' r' done
you know...
bloggin' what's on my noggin
Makin' brothers with the others (on LOST)
the usual
The yoozh
work, then rest. Next day, more work.
watchin' TV
drawin' on shoes
just chillin' yo
about 185 lbs.
the same ole stuff
the innernette
napping, a lot of napping
partyin' like it's somewhere near the end of the last century
mostly ponderin' regrets
abject loneliness
twitter
wistful sitting
a lot of facebook
roadtrips!!! (but mostly thinkin' about them)
reading
The Rock of Love (bus)
I can't believe it's not butter (spray)
makin' mac n' cheese
longin'

Good Weekend

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Highlights of this weekend included, but was not limited to

Thai Soup
Hot Cocoa
BSG
Hard Ticket To Hawaii
Steve Brule's tips for lonliness (click link on "living").
Supercut 3000
cupcakes

Hail Murray

Party Beards International*

Hotel Zombie
Surprise Brother
Church Lesson
Yamtastic

Soul Food Sunday


All in all not a bad weekend.

WARNING: Party beards should not be used while eating
cookies

cupcakes

nachos

or
Seven Layer dip [with bread knife]

These Boots

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So one of my resolute resolutions was to make some more shoes this year. I am coupling that with a new blog to show off some of the shoes I have made in the past or will be making in the future.

Go here if you want to check it out, and let me know if you want a pair.

Since lists are working for me these days, I thought I'd make a list of future shoe designs:

Sharkfoot
Cloudkickers
The Big Toe
Kickzilla
Appendix Jokes: the shoe
the Yargbott 2000
The Wacky Circumference
The Shoehorn (teeth included)
Thorn foot
a shoe by any other name
Elizabeth Shoe
Shew flies
Star shoe-ter
Kick star (t)
Love and Rockets
Little Green Men
Darth Shoe
Boba Foot
Storm Kickers
Moon man
footloose (this is a shoe with bacon drawn on it)

This year

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To quote The Mountain Goats, "I am gonna make it through this year, if it kills me" since lists are a thing to do these days, I am going to write a list of goals, resolutions, plots, ideas of things to do


Run a marathon (do this in weekly increments, 1/2 mile every week oughta do)
Start selling my shoes on the internet
buy more shoes (so I don't go barelyfoot)
hot tub
make a shirt that says "it's better to hot tub, than to not tub"
make a shirt that says "What happens on the internet, stays on the internet"
resist the urge to start an internet t-shirt company
start new trend in fashion called business jammies
more naps with greater focus
spend less time watching crappy TV
spend MORE time watching excellent TV
get in shape
accept "round" as a shape
less pain
more joy
more almond joys
avoid paralysis
buy a muppet
create something for the ages
create something for the ageist (that makes fun of the elderly and their fragile hips)
name a child Agamemnon (it doesn't have to be mine)
find a baby momma
do a pushup
make bacon-butter a reality
Paella
get into at least one, anger-fueled pie fight
Get this show idea done
hold hands, feed ducks, kiss on a bridge
involve someone else in aforementioned goal
get new roommates (seriously, I am losing two good ones)
popecat
buy more art
spend more time with my friend Art
Conference calls with Trace and Brian, have action items
get a focus for this blog
use new camera.
Go on at least three road trips with the sole purpose of finding a good place to watch a movie
Make it to the Art Institute of Chicago, re-inact the scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
take the day off (with or without Ferris Bueller)
Get out of the country at least once, but not Canada (AKA: America light)
stop copying Brandon's joke about Canada
find out what's wrong with my guts
Paint a mural in guest bedroom and get people to stay in it.
bring less shame to the family name.
more insulation for the family house
backyard bbq
hot pots
hot pockets
get in at least one really good argument with someone that I love, and maintain a good relationship afterward.
break my heart or at least wound it.
cause less pain.
Thursday Night Movie Night, it's time to comeback.
MORE PANTS!!!
be less of a brat
clean up after myself, maybe even before myself (if I get ambitious)
cook at one fine meal a week, and by "fine" meal, I mean one that doesn't come frozen and have the name "lumberjack" on the box.
Gazpachho
find a couple of new Breakfast joints.
Be someone that others can lean on.
After they have been leaning on me for a while, quickly step aside so they fall down.
Rediscover the genius that is Yakov Smirnoff.
Pursue idea for "Perfect Strangers: The Movie"
coin a phrase
cash in coins in Spiderman-head-bank
Nickelcade
get past "Difficult" in Fieldrunners (grasslands)
keep opinions to myself
learn to animate in Motion
finish the ogre that is TCWWAK
more time on Wikipedia
less time on Wickedpedia
further entrench self in the position that musical theater is "not that enjoyable".
Come up with one new thing to do.
Talk to family at least once a week.
Less swearing
more wearing (pants)
see docs at Sundance.
see doctors after Sundance.
Be grateful
finish the cabin
New York City, 'cause I miss it.
be okay.



I think if I hit 50%, the year will be a full success.

It don't matter what I'm getting, 'cause this is what I got.

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"Expectation leads to disappointment". This is a common idea in Zen Buddhism, there is something about it that never sat right with me. Hoping big and dreaming big and working big is the only way to get anything of value done. Maybe I am wrong though. Maybe when I have a disappointing Christmas it's because I wish so big, and my list of what I want is so much bigger than what I get. So to combat that, here is my new list, not of what I am getting, but what I've already got. (In no particular order)



Mom
Dad
A (pretty good) robot dance
hands (glad)
Turkey Dinner
Nog (Egg)
Long talks in the car that don't end when the drive does
A chicken costume
friends who trust me with their problems
A book of poems about love and life that I is half full
Little Owen who asks if he can hold me.
House M.D.
Kineto Pictures Inc.
A Bunch of empty sketchpads
A bunch of full sketchpads
Cameron
Hot Wings (and blue Cheese)
Olivia yelling "Uncle Damian" with all the parts of her lungs
General Health
Working plumbing (in the house)
Working plumbing (in my body)
Danny
Morgan asking me to tickle her toes
Grape Juice
Prayer
A love of Art
a taste for Chocolate
a pretty decent Kurosawa collection (on DVD)
some couches
Ben's art (including frame)
conference calls with friends (and bullet points)
inside jokes
Fast Internet!
ideas
chocolate roll
pie
vans
Van Gogh
Ties
SO many ties
running and running and running (but not for exercise)
3-2-1 blastoff
Pushing Daises (mostly just the first season)
Lee (and how he does)
a heart
a head
everything in between (and some things in the periphery)
hammock in the backyard
A business partner who is loyal and dreams big.
little people who call me "Uncle Damian"
little people who make Hot Cocoa
a couple of years in Spain
The opportunity to travel
the Joy of cooking (the book, thanks Jean)
the Joy of Cooking (the joy)
bad jokes
languages
Fuzzle
socks and wood floors
Hot N' Ready Pizzas
sharp suits
Musical Friends
Mp3s
empty canvases
unfinished scripts
knowledge
gaps in knowledge
The Doofer (GDX)
days when I don't have a thing to do
days when I have enough to keep me busy and my mind off the emptiness
bookstores
Freedom (more or less)
agency
a church calling where people have to listen to me
Brandon Brand New Dayton
things that make me "step up"
things that make me "step up" and "Take it to the streets"
the career of one Mr. Vin Diesel
Annie Dayton and rides from the airport
the Junior Bacon Cheese Cheeseburger
Tyra's ego
Cokeville
the Ranch years
Grandma and Grandpa Dayton
Gramps and Grandma
ANTM
Adrian
Adrian's schemes (also his Hijinks)
work
rest
talented friends
The Brothers
The Brothers Karamazov
Franny and Zoey
Enders Game
Benders
Trace n' Brian
Heggs
T-bone
Sirloins
Smythers n' Lindsay
Cookies n' Cream
Friends in other cities
The Book of Mormon
The Bible
and other good books

I could keep writing, but I got stuff to do. So Merry Christmas, and remember that it don't matter what you're getting if you remember what you've got.

All I want for Christmas

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Sweaters
shirts
no hats
ties, skinny ties or regular ties
a new suit
a new blazer or two (40R)
I'd like to lose 15 pounds
a pound of chocolate
an ounce of good sense
Antique stuff
an Eames chair
Anything Atomic age
except a nuclear warhead
vintage film cameras (super 8 is the best)
the new iphone earbuds
"to Live" the movie by Zhang Yimou (I have now lost/given away 3 copies of this)
"man on wire" the movie
Minerva Teichert's Christ in the Red Robes
some cool throw pillows for my couch downstairs, something modern
blank vans
sketch books
food
Joy of cooking (my old copy is getting worn out)
"A storyteller in ZIon" I lost my older copy
The new Ender's Game book (it's on the best seller list)
Extras: the complete series
the Sanjuro/Yojimbo criterion collection boxed set (I already own the movies but the set is SO gorgeous)
a punch in the face
a real live muppet
the gift of not-vomitting in the morning (the gift that keeps on giving)
a roll of quarters (for punching, then for video games)
6 piece chicken McNuggets
throwing star magnets
I want Cameron to know that Krull is NOT a good movie anymore
pretty much anything from the criterion collection
a new heart (similar to the old one, but less breaky)
a hot tub
a warm tub
ambition
pie (the treat, not the never-ending number)
a dolphin
a cyborg
a cyborg dolphin
a submarine that looks like a dolphin (so we can be friends)
a boat car
a car boat
a concept I can use to finish my story
pie cake
a reprieve from angst
a hover car
a bucket of gold
something mid-century modern
more Kung Fu pajamas
a gorilla suit (to go with the chicken suit)
a new digital camera (mine got stoled- again)
an octagon (for ultimate fighting)
Zombie Movies
Zombie Moves
"Zombie" by the Cranberries
some time to think
a clown cart
a calculator watch
the GI Joe aircraft carrier
The movie "Blood Simple" I haven't seen it. by the Coen Brothers
a chocolate orange ('cause I am getting one anyway)
a clockwork orange
some "Aspen" cologne (see above)
Music by any of the following bands: "Tunng" "Thao and the get down and stay downs" "the Books" "Feist""the Bird and the Bee", but who buys CD's anymore?
the Seagate portable pocket drive 250 gigabyte with firewire 800.
a massage
Atlantic Monthly magazine subscription
a headband
time alone
"Home Alone"
something the relieve the boredom

I think that about covers it, but maybe I am just setting myself up for disappointment.