Friday, September 12, 2008

FYI

for those googloopers out there. I am number 7 when you do a search of "Hockey Taz Tatoos". Maybe I need some pics so I can be more helpful to searchers.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

eCouches dot com

If you know me, then you probably know "Big Blue" the old family couch that made its way into my basement. Well I tried to get modern and I bought a new couch. With so many couches in my house now (I count 4), I figured I should get rid of one and as much as I will miss Big Blue (AKA Bluey, or "The Snuggler"), I decided I should sell him.

What better way to sell things than with the internets. Basically it is the "net" of computers and you can use your computers to look at my computers. It's all kinds of complicated, but anywho, I put up an advertisement on Facedbook. You can see it here.

I got one interested party, but it was a hassle to be at home when they wanted to pick it up ('cause lazy) plus I have stadium seating in my basement now. So I didn't sell it, but the ad(vertisement) has been up for months. Then out of the blue I started getting e.mails (electro-mails) offering to buy. This thing has been up for months and the emails look a little fishy, so I decided to respond. I know there are professionals that do this much better than I do, but I thought I'd let you folks in on my eCommunications on the eInternet.

Letter number one:

Here it is if you hate to read pictures:

Initially i will like you to email me back to this email address now,
kelly_wilson505@yahoo.com
I'm ok with the price for the item. I'll be using this opportunity to let you understand that you'll be receiving the payment in mode of check from my client and the amount you'll be receiving will be more than the item fees. Like i told you i'm purchasing on behalf of my client and the excess payment is my own commission with the money i'll need to pay for our shipping company. So i want you to promise me that you are so honest to deduct just the amount for the item and send the excess money through westernunion as soon as you receive the payment from my client. The payment will be sent immediately you agree with me to deduct just the amount for the item and send the balance through any WESTERN UNION OFFICE well known to you and you'll be receiving it the next day. &n bsp; one more time i want you to get back to me with this email addreess to day **omitted**

There won't be any problem about the shippment. I'll be handling that with my DHL# so i want you to get back to me asap now with your full mailing information. Email me your full name, address and phone# now if you agree and assure me that you'll deduct just the amount for the item and send the balance through WESTERN UNION so that the payment can be sent immediately.
Notice i want you to go and end the auction for me i would end it by my self but i dont know i to do it if u can do that for me i will adding $10 to your payment
Here is the email addreess yiou have to email me back now
kelly_wilson505@yahoo.com

Below are the questions i have for you.

1)is the item in good condition?

2)is any WESTERN UNION location where you can send the balance money arround you?

3)can you make sure you get the payment cashed at your bank the same day you receive it?

4)can you allow me to send DHL for the pick up and complete the transaction the day you receive the check?

If yes to all my questions, kindly email me back your full name, address and mobile# asap today

i want you to email me your full name and addreess
YOU CAN EMAIL ME BACK TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS NOW
**omitted**
Thanks,

My response:
Can you pay for this item with gold dubloons? I'd appreciate it if you could pay for this item in gold dubloons as I have decided to move towards the gold standard. You can deliver them however you want but preferably in a small burlap sack with an "$" on the side (I prefer the "$" with two lines through it if possible :))

thanx! (you will love this couch!!!)
____________

The day before I got this message:
RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE SHOULD BE SENT TO (paulsmth7610@gmail.com)

Hello I'm paul smiths, I hail from Canada in ottawa city, I came across your advert and am highly interested in Purchasing your ($50 - Big Blue, the warm embrace of a sectional couch) which you offer for sale.I Due to the fact that its been a long time have been searching for it, Please Kindly get back to me as soon as possible with the necessary answers to the question in mind, Are you the first owner? The present condition? Your final asking price?And I will also like you to send me Pictures to enable me view what I intend to purchase and i will like you to know that my form of payment is through a Certified Check or a USPS Money Order ..I await your urgent response so that we can proceed further.

RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE SHOULD BE SENT TO (**omitted**)

Regards
Paul


my response:

okay, this sounds fine and acceptable.

There will be a minor transaction fee. I will pay you with a transfer from western union. Also, I will take 20$ off the price of the couch, there is some slight discoloration from blood stains. Don't worry most of it is gone and you CANNOT get any DNA evidence from it.

YOU WILL LOVE THIS COUCH!!! It is good for cuddling, snuggling and even taking naps. the stains that I mentioned earlier DO NOT SMELL AT ALL! and you will still sleep soundly.

I look forward to working with you!!!!

Monday, September 08, 2008

Friday, September 05, 2008

joke (based on a true story)

Sometimes people who are divorced move into the singles ward, and I welcome them. But then they get remarried and I feel like I just got lapped.

Maybe someday I will get an Olympic story wrote about me how even after I got lapped, I just didn't give up, and people slow-clapped for me when I crossed the finish line.

______


Q: Do you know what the worst thing in the world is?

A: Yup, it's genocide.

Next to that is blogs by single people that complain about being single.

Do the Apocalypso

I am kind of fascinated by the Apocalypse. My friend Adam and I used to pretend it was the Apocalypse on his trampoline and we would shoot lazers out of our hands at the armies of Gog (and Magog) because that's what we thought the priesthood could do. I am not trying to be sacrilicious here, we really kind of though that, but we also used to debate whether or not Ninjas were allowed crossbows in olden times ('cause of the "no guns for ninjas" rule).

Even though I am a little doubtful about the lazers, I am still intrigued by this period, and even though my theology doesn't really allow me to believe in Zombies*, I am still going to prepare just in case. I just hope they are the slow kind like in most movie and not the fast kind like in 28 days later 'cause I am slow of foot. I also think that if I was surrounded by Zombies on all sides and they were slowly closing in on me, I would start believing in the rapture real quick.

But I guess whether it is Zombies or Gog's or whatevs I am still kind of stoked for when it all goes down (think about this: no matter what happens food storage is still a good idea). I just hope the internet is one of the last things to go down because I really like playing wordscraper (nee scrabbulous). Man, if being good at scrabble was a weapon, I would not fear the Zombies, no, not one bit.



*This is for people that tell me who they are, they get specific blogs on the topics that they like.